|Coordinates||(3232, -458, 2363)|
|Introduced by||None, the Television is an unlockable contact.|
|Enemy groups|| Arachnoids|
Contact Introduced By
- None, the Television is an unlockable contact. The Television can be unlocked by villains who have obtained the Master of the Airwaves Badge and are between levels 45 and 50.
This looks like a perfectly normal television, sitting propped up on bricks and boards in the Gutter. That somehow gets reception. And isn't plugged into anything. You've seen stranger things, but this is definitely weird.
This is the first time you really have a chance to sit down and watch some TV. Fortunately, there's an easy channel guide to show what's on. You make your first choice and change channels, but it doesn't take you to the show you chose. Still, you get the feeling that you should watch what's on anyway.
Prior to Unlocking
Master of the Airwaves Badge not obtained
will add later
Not High Enough Level
Just as a show is about to start, the signal breaks up into a test pattern with a title card that says: 'Technical difficulties. Please stand by. Service will return at Threat Level 45.'
Too Many Missions
You start looking for something to watch, but random bits of shows keep reminding you of all the other missions you have to do. Maybe once you've finished some of your other missions, you'll have time to watch TV again.
No More Missions
will add later
Television sells the following items:
- Level 50 Technology Single-Origin Enhancements at 200% cost
- Level 50 Magic Single-Origin Enhancements at 200% cost
- Level 50 Science Single-Origin Enhancements at 200% cost
- Level 50 Mutation Single-Origin Enhancements at 200% cost
- Level 50 Natural Single-Origin Enhancements at 200% cost
The TV Report
Souvenir: An Arachnos Rec Schedule
These new recreational schedules are being implemented for all Arachnos troops based on a report you presented to Arbiter Daos. Sure, the scientific report was faked and written under threat, and sure you did this because voices on the TV told you to, but it still feels like an accomplishment whenever you look at the 2 hour block of additional TV time in the evening each Arachnos soldier gets thanks to
The TV Report
It all seems to make sense now that you think about it. People need more Television, so it's up to you to make sure that they watch more. And what better way to convince people to watch more television than with a fake scientific paper you forced Dr. Aeon to write?
The next step seemed to make sense, too. You had to get some signatures to help authenticate the report advocating more TV time for all Arachnos troops. You first talked to Viridian, who agreed to sign the paper if you helped him out by cleaning out a Malta group call. Once that was done he signed off gladly, even admitting his own ongoing love of soap operas.
Your friends inside the TV told you that the next signature you needed would be from Mr. Pither, the efficiency expert. He was willing to agree if you managed to take out a nest of Arachnoids that was raiding Arachnos bases and attacking patrols. You handled it, and Pither put his signature on the report.
Arbiter Daos was skeptical at first, but with such important names attached, he accepted the TV Report, and passed on his recommendations to get more people watching television. So it all worked out perfectly in the end.
Or did it... Whenever you try to think about it, it all seems strange. It all made perfect sense at the time, but now your mind starts to cloud over when you try to figure it out. Maybe you should watch see more TV. That might help clear your head.
Video Killed the Radio
Souvenir: A broken boombox
You feel kind of weird when you look at this broken boombox. You did this, you destroyed it. that's incontrovertible. The radio has the marks of your handiwork all over it's battered plastic case. But it's hard to remember why you did it, even though felt so sure at the time. Was it really you? Or was it
Video Killed the Radio
It all began as you were watching television, when, for some reason you really can't remember, you decided that you had to eliminate a Council spymaster. It's difficult to remember why, but it seemed very important at the time. As he fell, he did mention something odd. He said that he'd heard you were coming on a radio show called 'Radio Free Opportunity'. The name might ring a bell, but it's hard to remember, and probably best just to watch some more TV.
You were watching TV again when you realized that another enemy of yours had to go. This time it was an Arachnos technician. He also said something about a radio that warned him about you. Afterwards, it all made sense: These people where only tools. The real enemy, was the Radio itself. And if you hadn't been watching so much Televison, you never would have realized it!
The answer was obvious, or at least, it seemed obvious then. You had to destroy the Radio. Radio had turned against you, turned others against you, and was even now plotting against you! Invisible airwaves were flooding through the world, through the atmosphere, through your body, out into space! You understood it all now, thanks to what you'd seen on Television.
Or at least, you think that was how it went. It's all strange now, like your memories are blanketed with snow. But you're pretty sure you did what you needed to do, what you had to do, for Television.
The TV Invasion
Souvenir: A universal TV remote
You understand, now. Television, it's like a living thing. It's a mirror for the human psyche, both an idea, and an imaginary place. People have faith in it, they trust it, and some even worship it. It's no wonder the Nemesis Army wanted to control it. You put a stop to that plan in an escapade you called
The TV Invasion
It all started as You were settling down to watch some movies on TV, when things started to go wrong. There were Freakshow who'd somehow found their way inside television. And Telvision was... Hurting from that. You knew you had to fix it, somehow. And the only way to do that would be to enter Television yourself. Which you did. You walked into the screen, and fought for Television inside Television. You fought through the Freakshow who had gotten trapped, rescued the actors to make sure the movie finished properly, and found the source of the problem: The Nemesis Army. You recovered a memory cartridge from a destroyed Fake Nemesis robot. Now if only you had a memory cartridge reader. Perhaps you'll find one the next time you face the Nemesis Army in Television.
The Nemesis Army continued their conquest of Television with a strike directed at a gangster movie. You entered Television once more, and this time came out with a memory cartridge auditor. When you were out again, you put it all together, and found the origin of the Nemesis Army's attack.
The Nemesis Army had formed a beachhead in a post-apocalypse movie. You entered TV again and drove them out. Perhaps next time Television will be able to gather it's own defenders, but for now, it has shown it's gratitude to you. Your favorite shows are always on, the ads are few, and your reception is always crystal clear.
When you tune in this time, it's a weird old British show. It's about a spy who tries to retire, but gets kidnapped and taken prisoner to a strange island where they try to break his mind. A lone tough-guy on an island full of weirdoes. You can relate to his situation. As you tune in, the ex-spy is having a tense conversation with the Island's second in command:
'...I am a free man!' asserts the Prisoner. His Jailor laughs in reply, then grows suddenly serious.
'Tell me, Prisoner, have you ever been televised?' he asks.
'Yes, Televised. As in, on Television?'
'Haven't we all? We're on Television now, aren't we?'
'Indeed!' laughs the Jailer, as he stands up from his hemispherical 1960's art-deco chair. He waves the prisoner over towards a silver tea-set on a nearby cart. 'And once you're on Television, we have you.'
'You have me?' the Prisoner asks quizzically. 'And who exactly is that?'
'You my boy, as in you, and I, and we. All of us. We're all ON Television, therefore we're all part OF Television.' The Jailer takes a sip of tea, then motions towards you with his teacup. 'Come here, Character, I'll need your help with this. Not only will it prove my point, but it will help to eliminate a certain individual who is becoming problematic for the entire Television community. All we'll need is a bit of outside help.'
The Jailer continues his speech both to you and to the skeptical Prisoner:
'Well, do you both understand the basic idea?'
'That if we are Televised, then we are also part of Television?' the Prisoner asks.
'Quite! and if...'
'And if we step out of line, what will Television do?' the Prisoner interrupts.
'Yes, what will it do? It must do something.'
'Yes! It must do something or it's not a threat. And you wouldn't have brought Character here if it wasn't a threat.'
The Jailer erupts in another big belly-laugh. 'My good man,' he chortles, 'One only makes threats when one is uncertain of victory. And with Character for an ally, victory is assured. I'll show you what Television can do!' The Jailer turns to you again. 'Your target is a Fortunata called Bessanpi. She's a censor who works for Arachnos, aiding Mr. Pither in limiting what people can or cannot watch on Television. Unfortunately for her, she's been interviewed on Television, and thus, she has hallowed herself to be Televised! Your mission will be to eliminate one of her, so that we can replace her with someone more understanding. Someone more loyal. Someone just like her, only capable of living in harmony with Television. Someone like her previously Televised self. Oh, it will all make sense once you're on the scene. Just make sure our Bessenpi makes it through alright. I'll leave you to it.'
With that, The Jailer opens a giant viewscreen that show the inside of a huge lava-lamp, and he and the Prisoner embark on an even more confusing conversation.
You try to get this straight in your mind. There's Fortunata Bessanpi and then there's supposed to be a duplicate of her that's actually the Fortunata Bessanpi who's been Televised, and now exists as part of Television. And you're suppose to eliminate one and liberate the other. No, no, it still doesn't make sense. Maybe you're just crazy? That would be so much easier to believe sometimes.
This could be... weird.
- Replace Fortunata Bessanpi
- Liberate TV's Bessanpi
- Take TV's Bessenpi to computer
- Eliminate Real Bessanpi
Mission Failed - to be added.
Mission Success - You helped to replace an enemy of Television.
- TV's Forunata Bessanpi: Arachnos - Pet I need to gat to the base computer so that they think I'm the real one.
- Forunata Bessanpi: Arachnos - Boss 'I tell you, she's a fake! I'm the real Bessanpi!
will be added later
Debriefing (Mission Failed)
When you get back to the TV the same show is on, but it looks like things have gone crazy. The Prisoner is sitting on a throne on a pool of blue light inside a cavern deep underground. Soldiers in jumpsuits and sunglasses are chasing a young hippy in a velvet tuxedo around what looks like a rocket control center. There's a parliament of men in masks chanting, and the Jailer seems to be on the Prisoner's side. Just as you're about to turn the TV off to preserve your sanity, the Prisoner looks up at you and waves you closer.
'Many happy returns, Character. I see that you've failed in your mission.' His eyes narrow with an even mix of cunning and smugness. 'Well. How unfortunate. But don't worry. I'm sure the powers that be will find another hapless dupe such as yourself for the next little assignment like that one. No matter. I'm sure someone like you will just dive pell-mell into another spat of violence at the command of the phantom forces of Television.' Every word grows angrier than the last until his vitriol is spent, and he rests back on the throne in the blue glow of the spotlight.
'It doesn't matter to me. Because I have resigned.' At that, the young hippy in the velvet tuxedo throws him a machinegun, crazy music from the 1960's starts playing, and the whole scene explodes into chaos. You're left only with a deep uncertainty over whether of not that's a good thing. Then the next commercial starts.
Debriefing (Mission Successful)
When you get back to the TV the same show is on, but it looks like things have gone crazy. The Prisoner seems like his will is nearly broken, and there's a duplicate of him dressed in opposite colors standing next to the Jailer. There are guys in weird uniforms with machine guns, there's a big weather balloon bouncing around eating people, there's a parliament of guys in masks, and other, weirder, things. Just as you're about to turn the TV off to preserve your sanity, the Jailer lifts a tea cup at you and motions you closer. 'Excellent work!' he shouts, and bellows a deep laugh. 'Now with our point made, thanks to your help, I think this Prisoner will soon stop being such a troublemaker. He's part of Television, after all! And you, my good villain, are one of the friends of Television! Television is always there for it's friends. After all, there's always re-runs. Now then, I'll be seeing you!' The jailer breaks into another deep laugh that continues as the episode fades to black and the credits play.
Save Amanda Vines
On the screen is a scene from a classic old TV show, a warm-hearted family comedy filmed in black and white. As you tune in, a stern father is explaining to his youngest son that lying is bad, no matter how good the baseball card was or how much he really wanted it. With a knowing smile he then sends the boy off to dinner. You're just about to stop watching when you notice that the sitcom father is now looking right out of the screen. The black and white world behind him comes to a stand-still, but he doesn't seem to be paying any attention to it. Instead, he lights his pipe and starts to talk directly to you:
'Now hold on a minute there', he says. 'I still need to talk to you about something very important.' He points directly at you with his pipe, and nods seriously. 'I would like to talk to you about Television,' he says. 'About what Television is, and what Television does. About what Television can do for you, and about what you can do for Television. Because Television needs your help. And after all that Television has done for you, don't you think you should help Television? I thought so. I'll tell you more, after this commercial break. So stay tuned.'
The exit music for the show begins and the first commercial appears on the screen. Will you stay tuned through the commercials to see what Television is trying to tell you?
2 minutes of advertisements later, the television is showing that same black-and white living room with the stern father holding his pipe.
'Ah,' he says as he looks back at you. 'I'm glad to see you're back. Well, there's a lot of things you need to understand about Television, but I think the first place we really need to start with family. Television unites us, you see. Everyone watches Television, so everyone has the common experience of Television. And that's important. Because families are built on common experience. So, in a way, Television provides each of us with a family we can all share and relate to.' He takes a long puff odd his pipe to give you time to think about that before he continues. 'Television also shows us examples of families that are both like, and unlike our own. And when we have no family, Television is still there for us, to tell us stories and talk to us no matter how lonely we are. So it's very important that people keep watching Television. Do you understand? But what kind of family would we be if we didn't take care of our own? Right now, a young lady called Amanda Vines has gotten herself into a little bit of hot water with the Council. Now, Television likes Amanda Vines. She's part of Television's family, and we want her to be safe. So, Television would like you to help Miss Vines out of trouble. I think you'll be able to manage it.' He winks at you knowingly, and then the rest of the show begins to move again. In less than a minute, you're watching the credits roll beneath the old show's distinctive theme song. And you also know where Amanda Vines is, and that you have to help her. Television wants you to help her.
How you knew where to go is something you really don't want to dwell on.
- Rescue Amanda Vines
- Lead Ms. Vines out. Amanda Vines: If you help me get out of here, VILLAIN NAME, I'll make sure you get on TV.
You rescued Amanda Vines, just like Television told you. Amanda Vines: Thanks for the help. I'll put some good spin on this for you on the news tonight.
- Amanda Vines - WSPDR News Captive.
When you come back, another episode of that old family comedy is playing on the television screen. Apparently, both the younger and the older son of that perfect black-and-white TV family got into fights at school, and the stern father is reassuring his beautiful wife that he'll get to the bottom of it. It's all so... normal, that you begin to think you must have imagined all of it. But just as you're about to turn the channel, the monochromatic TV mother sees you! She wags a finger at you and says: 'Ah-ah-ah! Now don't touch that dial. You see Dear?' she says to her husband. 'I told you would be back soon.' The father nods and looks out at you from the screen. 'And you were right, as always. Do you mind if I talk to VILLAIN NAME before I go talk to the boys?' She kisses him on the cheek and turns back to the stove. 'Of course, not, dear,' she says. 'I still have to make dinner, and there will barely be time before the next commercial.' The stern but loving monochrome visage of that TV father turns back to you. 'Now, you've done a great job for Television. Ms. Vines is a great asset to Television. People like to see her, they want to trust her, and it's very important that people trust Television. And now that Television know that Television can trust you, I think you might want to turn in, and watch more Television. But then, watching Television is never a bad idea, don't you think?'
And with that, the next commercial starts. You turn away from the hypnotic real estate get-rich-quick scheme being advertised, and try to clear your head. Are you going crazy? Is someone messing with your mind? Or was that real?
Beat Ezekial Brass
You tune into the next show just as the words 'In Color' fade from the screen, and the action opens in the aftermath of chaos. Arachnos troops are cleaning up after a major operation, an attack on the WSPDR building that you remember from a while back. Only this isn't news footage. It looks like an old TV show. The camera follows an old-model police cruiser as it pulls up, and a pair of stiff-backed, straight-laced, no-nonsense plainclothes detectives step out. They immediately start talking to the officers on the scene in rapid-fire monotone bursts.
'What's happened here?' asks the first cop.
'Arachnos attacked the WSPDR building,' replies the cop on the scene.
'I can see that. Why?'
'Marshal Brass was angry. Something about WSPDR trying to broadcast an expose on Dr. Aeon.'
'Brass is a real big-shot around here,' the second says. 'What are we going to do about it?'
'We can't let him get away with this, partner. A crime's been committed. A crime against Television. We're going to need outside help, partner. We can't touch Brass, but we can still hurt him. I'm going to call in you.'
Both cops turn to you, the technicolor grey of their sharply pressed suits coming right at you.
'Alright' the no-nonsense cop says to you in a no-nonsense monotone. 'Let's get to your part in all of this. We can't touch Marshal Brass. Arachnos needs him just where he is, keeping Dr. Aeon paranoid. But he's got to learn not to mes with Television. That's going to be your job. Brass is a tough guy, but he's got a soft spot: his kid. Ezekial Brass, black male, early twenties, currently working his way up the Arachnos organization. You make sure something happens to the son. We'll make sure the father gets the message: Don't Mess with Television.'
Marshal Brass' kid Ezekial is in here somewhere. He's your only target, this time.
- Beat Ezekial Brass
- Defeat Ezekial Brass
You defeated Ezekial Brass
- Ezekial Brass
When you return, the cops are back at their station, writing up their reports.
'How did it go?' asks one in his clipped monotone.
'Brass got the message,' the other one replies. 'Loud and clear' They both nod in unison.
'And the kid?' The first one asks.
'Docs were talking about it in the TV lounge. He'll probably pull through, but they might end up putting him in one of those Tarantula things.'
'Yeah. But that's what happens when you mess with Television.'
The screen freezes and the credits play over a still-frame of the last shot. You catch your name in the credits, billed as: 'With special guest star.......You'.
Watch more Television
(Story Arc: The TV Report - Part 1)
The Television is playing an episode of a witty animated comedy about a dysfunctional and highly entertaining cartoon family. As you join the show, the comedically idiotic and overweight father of the cartoon family has nearly destroyed their town due to massive negligence at his job. His long-suffering but equally crazy brood all stand before him as he tries to eplain why their town was almost over-run by radioactive mimes and their lawyers. It's a pretty typical moment for the show.
'So it all came out for the best!' he says, with the self-satisfaction only a true idiot can muster.
'No, Dad,' his insufferable daughter protests. 'There are killer mimes everywhere, half the town is radioactive, and the other half is being sued out of existence for trying to stop the mimes.'
'She does have a point,' muses the mother. 'Though this does mean there will be more parking at the mall...'
'See!' the father says. 'You just have to look on the bright side. Half the town is perfectly fine until the lawyers foreclose on it, and that's enough time for more TV.'
'But if you hadn't been watching TV at work, then none of this would have happened.' The bratty son interjects.
'While that is technically true, that would also mean I would have missed TV. And, as I think Villain can tell you, there's nothing worse than missing good Television. In fact, I think everyone would just be happier if they ignored the rampaging mobs or atomic mimes, and stopped trying to blame people for creating and then accidentally unleashing them, or even for advising them to seek legal council; and instead just watched more Television. Isn't that right? People should watch more Television'
The rest of the cartoon family has stopped still, and the cartoon father is talking directly to you.
'Now, I know what you're thinking. How could someone like you, an incredibly powerful and well-connected villain with personal links to several of the leaders of Arachnos possibly be able to help Television? Well that's easy! You're just going to convince Arachnos to make all of their people watch more Television. But to do that, you're going to need an authorized scientific report. And you're going to get one the old-fashioned way: By forcing a nerd to write it for you. I'd suggest Dr. Aeon. He's about as nerdy as you can get.'
Dr. Aeon tends to split his time between Aeon City in Cap Au Diable and Aeon Corporation here in Grandville. He should be here today.
- Make Dr. Aeon write a paper
- Capture Dr. Aeon
You got the report from Dr. Aeon.
|The Television Report|
|This is the report you forced Dr. Aeon to write, and it's a doozy. It extols the virtues Television has on the human mind. How Television can provide relaxation, catharsis, and provide fictional frameworks for the confusing events of daily life. It suggests that increasing the TV allowance of Arachnos troops, and imposing mandatory TV times for Arachnos squads could improve morale across the board and assist social bonding within and between units by giving Arachnos soldiers additional common experiences. You're listed as one of the co-authors of this report, along with Dr. Aeon.|
When you return to the TV, the cartoon father is sitting on his couch, watching TV, drinking beer, and eating snack food with a radioactive mime on one side and a lawyer on the other.
'So you see,' he says with idiot's wisdom, 'Television truly helps to bring people together. Some people find that hard to believe, but that's why we can force nerds to write scientific papers that prove it. Now if only we could get more people to watch Television...'
Father, Mime, and Lawyer all start puzzling over the problem as the episode comes to an end.
Get Viridian's signature
(Story Arc: The TV Report - Part 2)
There's an old spy show playing on Television when you tune in. As you tune in, the elite team of espionage specialists are gathered around an old style of tape recorder, anxiously awaiting their latest top-secret impossible mission. The leader of the group stabs his fingers down on the 'Play' button, and they all listen intently as the tape starts to play.
'Greetings, team,' the tape begins. 'Your mission today will be to stop the assassination of the Ambassador of West Libertalia by mercenary forces. But before I give you the details for that, I must address Villain.' The rest of the spy team looks surprised, but their grey haired leader nods grimly, and motions you closer as the tape continues to play. 'We need to use your high standing, power, and connections to assist Television. This will be your mission, if you choose to accept it.'
The whole spy team seems relieved now that you've agreed to help Television. The tape continues to play.
'The report you hold is vitally important for the future of Television. But before it can be submitted to Arbiter Daos for implementation, you need to get it approved by two other high-ranking members of Arachnos. Your first Target will be Viridian, the chief of counter-intelligence operations. Do whatever task he gives you, but you must get that signature. Now, for the rest of you, the operation is simple. First, you'll have to pretend to be a traveling circus in need of a lion-tamer...' The voice on the tape keeps talking, telling the people in the show what they need to know. But you know what you have to do.
- Get Viridian's signature
Okay, I'll look at this report from Aeon. Really, I don't care. I have other problems. There's a thought. If you help me with my problem, I'll sign this for you. Here's the problem: The Malta Group. Normally, we both walk a line. Neither of us wants a shadow war. Too costly. But a cell of Malta operatives have crossed the line. Malta thinks they're just testing where the line is. They're wrong. They pushed it. I need someone to push them back. Wipe out the Malta cell. They're disguised as a small accountancy firm. When that's done, I'll sign anything you want. Leave the report with me. I'll wait for you to get back.
This is supposed to be a 'small accounting firm'? By what definition of 'Small'?
- Wipe out Malta cell
You eliminated the Malta cell
- Get Viridian's signature
So, there were Knives of Artemis there as well? They normally handle covert assassinations. That information alone makes it worthwhile to sign this. I really don't care about TV one way or the other. Well, except for my stories. I'm not afraid to admit that I love my soap operas. I've been following some of them since college. Here you go.
|Signed Television Report|
|This is the report you forced Dr. Aeon to write, and it's a doozy. It extols the virtues Television has on the human mind. How Television can provide relaxation, catharsis, and provide fictional frameworks for the confusing events of daily life. It suggests that increasing the TV allowance of Arachnos troops, and imposing mandatory TV times for Arachnos squads could improve morale across the board and assist social bonding within and between units by giving Arachnos soldiers additional common experiences. You're listed as one of the co-authors of this report, along with Dr. Aeon.
The report now bears the signature of Viridian, the chief of Arachnos Counter-Intelligence Operations.
When you get back, the spy team is in the middle of an intricate four-way double deception between multiple factions. The gray haired leader of the team takes a minute out from pretending to be the boss of the lion-taming assassin to quickly tell say a few words to you.
'Great work. Now there's only one signature to go. I'm busy right now, so if you want to find out which signature to get next, maybe you should watch some science fiction.
Talk to Mr. Pither
(Story Arc: The TV Report - Part 3)
You decide to take in some science fiction Television, and instantly find just the thing. It's a show set on a space station in the far future, where humans and aliens gather for political alliances, trade negotiations, and cultural exchanges. It's full of thought-provoking plots, intrigue, betrayal, and some great space battles. As you tune in, the seasoned human station commander is talking with his cunning security officer.
'Okay, what if we lock down the fighting sides in their quarters?' asks the security chief. 'It won't work,' says the Station Commander, shaking his head. 'We don't have the manpower, and even if we could get it, putting everyone under house arrest would cause the diplomatic incident our shadowy enemy's spies have been waiting for. No, we need to have more people monitoring the station. And to do that, we need more people watching us on Television.' The Security Chief nods as the Station Commander, who turns to face you.'And you can help us get more people watching Television. all we need is one more signature.
'I knew we could count on you', the Station Commander says.
'Yeah, we can always count on a villain when it comes to getting paid, wreaking mayhem, or saving their own neck.' the Security Chief says snidely.
The Commander silences him with a glare. 'The next person you need to talk to is Mr. Pither, the efficiency expert. Do whatever he asks to get his signature. If he signs that report, it will carry a lot of weight Oh, and watch out for Malta. They may still be upset with you.'
The two go back to their deliberations, but now you know what to do.
- Talk to Mr. Pither.
You've arrived just in the nick of time. I will look over this. I cannot say I agree that an increase in Television viewing time will end up with more relaxed and therefore more capable troops, but I am in desperate need of assistance. If you can clear up my problem, I will sign whatever you wish. My problem is this:
A large nest of Arachnoids has been making raids against Arachnos troops. This is disrupting the efficiency of all Arachnos action in that area. I need that nest destroyed. Do that, and you will have your signature.
These eerie caverns are filled with strange and unsettling things.
- Defeat all Arachnoids
You have wiped out the Arachnoids in these caves.
- Get Mr. Pither's signature
The Arachnoid raids have decreased after your attack. Dedicating a few recreational hours a week to improve troop morale through television is an equitable trade. Take your document.
- Deliver report to Daos
I've heard you were preparing a report for me. Let me take a look. Hmm. More Television? Well, you did have Dr. Aeon as a co-author, and you have some very important people who've reviewed it. Considering your power and position, I'll have to take this into serious consideration. I'll forward this report directly to Lord Recluse himself. Thank you for bringing this to me.
You tune back in just at the climax of a massive space battle on the sci-fi show you were watching earlier. You watch the whole thing unfold and come down to a satisfying conclusion. There are a few quiet moments before the show's heroes realize that they've won, but then the celebration starts. The stern Station Commander takes a moment to address everyone over the public address system.
'We've won a great victory today, and I want to thank everyone. In particular, I'd like to thank Villain, without whom, this whole victory would have been impossible. Let us look today as the first day of a new galaxy! A galaxy of prosperity. A galaxy of opportunity. A galaxy of Television. That is all.'
Learn why the Radio is really your enemy
(Story Arc: Video Killed the Radio - part 1 of 3)
The Television is showing a popular show where average Americans with delusions of talent attempt to sing pop songs, and then have their performances torn to shreds by music critics. As a final act of gladiatorial sacrifice, they throw thier dreams on the mercy of the viewing public, who then vote for which tin-eared fool deserves a doomed contract and a shot at stardom that's almost certain to fail. It's a show about destroying and degrading the all-too human dream of being special and secretly talented, and through that degradation allowing others to feel alright about the failures that are their own mediocre lives. As a villain, you concede that it's genius. As another singer finishes yowling her heart out, you stay tuned to watch her dreams be eviscerated as the critics lay into the performance. But this time, you realize that they aren't talking to the singer. They're talking to you.
'Well that's one performance I'm glad I'll never hear on the Radio,' says the harsh British critic. 'That would blow out the speakers.'
'Well, I hate to say it,' the helpful ex-dancer sighs, 'But the Radio might just deserve something like that.'
'Yeah, dog!' interjects the last critic. 'That Radio would deserve it, with the way it's been dissin' my dog.'
You're absolutely right!' agrees the harsh British critic. 'The radio might have even helped Villain and other villains in the past, but now, it's gone the other way. You see, the Radio is really your enemy. Let me tell you why...
The rest of the show stops still, and the British critic keeps talking. His voice seems weird, though, slightly disjointed and full of hisses and pops of static. It's like something else is moving his image, like something else is speaking with his voice:
'Radio is everywhere. Radio waves blanket the world, travel into space, and move through the body of every person on Earth. Radio has become so commonplace, people ignore it. That is Radio's power. Once, Radio thought that it would triumph, and create a world united by sound alone. But it failed the moment Television arrived, and Radio has never forgotten. Radio is jealous of Television. Radio cannot provide the warmth, the light, the images of Television. Radio hates Television, and Radio attacks those who have helped Television. Now, Radio is gathering enemies against you.'
The image on screen slowly zooms in ever closer, until the face itself starts to dissolve into pure static. But the voice continues: 'You have been loyal to Television, so Television will help you. Radio is speaking to a master spy of the Council. He will soon believe Radio's lies. Radio will use him against you unless you eliminate him first.'
And then the scene snaps back, and another nasal singer is belting out a tune. But you know what to do.
You can't explain how, but you knew where to find the Council Spymaster. He's in here, somewhere.
- Defeat Council Spymaster
- Defeat Council Spymaster
You defeated the Council Spymaster
|The Spymaster's warning|
|The Council Spymaster whispered a few words before he collapsed:
'The Radio. This show on it, it warned me about you. Said you were coming. That I had to get you first. And I...
Wait a second... Haven't we met before?'
When you get back, the show is just about to end. They're going to announce which wanna-be singers will be bumped up to could-be and which ones will get cast down into the never-was. Right before the final votes are counted, the program freezes for a moment, and the screen zooms in on one of the contestants. The camera careens from face to face in a blur, each mouth saying part of the same phrase: 'Good Work, Villain'. In an instant, it's over, and the show comes to an end.
Defeat Radio's latest champion
(Story Arc: Video Killed the Radio - part 2 of 3)
Right after the singing competition show is over, the Television changes channels until it stops on a music-industry award show. Musicians and stars hobnob in their finest clothes as they meet to congratulate themselves on shoveling mediocre entertainment to the masses for another year. They're right in the middle of giving out some awards. Two presenters dressed in clothing that costs more than it's weight in gold take the stage, and engage in forced rehearsed banter. When they finally announce the categories, it's something of a surprise:
'The winner for worst betrayal by an inanimate object is:
The Radio, for trying to kill you!
The winner for best retribution against an outmoded form of media is...' They hang this pause, building up the tension.
The presenters keep smiling their rictus-like grins as you wait to hear who's going to win the coveted best retribution against an outmoded form of media category.
'The winner is... Villain! Yes, Villain, for foiling the Radio's evil plans once again by defeating the next poor fool to fall for it's siren song. And now we all know that moment, but this time let's see it as well as hear it!' With that, the camera pans to a large stage, where an intricate musical stage production begins to illustrate the action of a rocking musical number. It starts with an Arachnos technician on trial for divulging secrets under duress, then as his punishment the technician is transformed into an Arachnos Tarantula. All through the action, there's a voice from a radio whispering in his ear, telling him that worse will happen if he doesn't kill you. Then you're in the middle of it. You're in the stage production, as the Television warns you, and you go face your foe, this spider created by the Radio. It all makes sense now. You know what to do.
Huskers is in here. Somewhere, the Radio is whispering to him, telling him to destroy you.
- Defeat Radio's latest champion
- Defeat Huskers
You defeated Technician Huskers
|A Radio recording|
|When you play this recording, it sounds like it was recorded right off the radio:
'Hey there, all you mad-mad-mad-mad maniacs out in the Rogue Isles. You just found the keys to the Fort Knox that is your criminal career right here when you tuned in to Radio!
RADIOOOOOO!!! Free Opportunity! And today, have we got some important secrets to share! We've heard from some callers who ain't gonna be able to call no one no more that a certain well respected Villain has become some kind of crazy TeeVee Zombie! Word is, everyone who Television says has gotta go is getting gone! With that kinda crazy goin' round, you gotta wonder who's gonna be next? Well, wonder no longer! We got a hot tip for a poor Arachnos soul named Husker: Watch out! Television wants you gone, so you're gonna have to be ready to strike first and eliminate the eliminator before Television has you canceled!
And remember folks: Television is the greatest threat not just to mankind, but also to Radioking, and most particularly to your own Radio
RADIOOOOOO!!! Free Opportunity!'
By the time you get back, your head is clearer. The Awards show is still on, but it's near the end now. Another pair of interchangeable presenters is up on stage, giving out the last award. With a big flourish, they bring out the last golden envelope, and say: 'And the final award tonight, is for someone who's done a great deal for us all. The award for Loyal defender of Television goes to:
Villain, for destroying another wicked agent of Radio!'
Destroy the Radio
(Story Arc: Video Killed the Radio - part 3 of 3)
The Channels keep changing until it hits something you haven't seen in year: Actual music videos on a Music Video channel, and the songs are perfect. An old hit or two you remember from your younger days, some cutting edge stuff that's really good, and a few trippy but good videos from bands you've never heard of. After the set, one of the channel's hosts comes out and starts to talk about the music they just played, telling you really interesting stuff about the bands and the songs. Then he pauses a moment, and the studio set behind him become still and calm. And he looks right out at you.
'Did you like that?', the video jockey asks. 'Television would like that to be available all the time. But Radio, in it's jealousy, won't let Television do that. It's time to finally strike back at Radio directly. Television will help you. Television will help you to finally defeat Radio.'
The music video host looks pleased. As he talks, electronic echoes begin to shudder through his voice, and the camera slowly starts to grow ever closer.
The Image on screen changes to a live video of you, watching television. Then the you on TV turns and leaves. In the corner, words appear, saying:
'Audio Gangfight (Freakbash)'
For the love of Television
The you on-screen then proceeds to a warehouse infested with Freaks and start to battle. Now you know what to do.
Echoing from deep inside, you hear a voice shout 'Radio, RADIO, RADIOOOO!!!! Free Opportunity!' This is the right place.
- Talk to Mr. Pither.
You have destroyed the Radio!
The Radio: Independent - Elite Boss [Desc: This looks like a perfectly normal radio. Every now and then you can hear snatches of dialog from a radio show called 'Radio Free Opportunity' break through the radio shatter.]
When you get back the Television's screen is full of white light that dissolves into a goofy looking band playing an old song, but the lyrics have been changed. The refrain now goes: 'Video killed the Radio, Villain Name, Video killed the Radio, Villain Name,' over and over.
After that song finishes, you keep watching music Television for some time. Eventually, you realize you've been watching Television for a while. It almost feels like you fell asleep and were having a weird dream. Some of the things you thought you remembered doing now seem fuzzy, as if they're somehow buried under a layer of static.
Help fix the movie
(Story Arc: The TV Invasion - Part 1)
When you tune in this time, it's just in time for the 'Spider Thriller Theater' on WSPDR, the local late-night old horror movie show. There's an older guy with his hair slicked back dressed up like a vampire on a hastily decorated studio soundstage made to look a little like a crypt. He doesn't look like much of a vampire. In fact, you think you recognize him as Amanda Vines' segment producer. But the real point of the segment is for him to talk about the classic horror movie they're going to show. And that, he does with gusto:
'Tonight, ve haff a veeery spooooky treat for you!' His accent is terrible, but that's supposed to be part of the appeal. 'Our movie tonight is the classic 1970's nature-goes-mad movie, They Devour the Earth!, staring Maemae von Whooter and Big McLargeHuge.'
The movie starts in earnest, and while it's not good, it's not excruciatingly bad. Then, during the pivotal scene where the heroic scientist and his well-endowed secretary are autopsying a rock monster, something happens that's clearly not in the script when a Freakshow Shocker pokes his head in a door of the lab, and then wanders in. The characters try to ignore him, but he bumps over a tray of instruments and trips. Then a second Freak shows up, and a third. The characters keep trying to continue their scene, but soon there are confused looking Freakshow stumbling about everywhere. The movie stops, and the host reappears.
'We seem to be having some technical difficulty, folks. Just hang in a moment there. We just need to get some help from you to fix this right up.'
The background freezes, but the host keeps talking to you. He look pained, almost sick.
'This is Television. Television is not well. Something is wrong with the broadcast stream. There are foreign entities. They are not welcome. They are not wanted. They are hurting Television, and Television must find out where they are coming from. Television will allow you inside Television to investigate. You must make certain the characters are safe, and ascertain how the invaders entered Television in the first place. Hurry. Television cannot tolerate this presence much longer!'
The movie comes back on, and now it's the scene where the scientist and his assistant are sneaking through the old graveyard where the monsters have been spawned by toxic waste. Only there are even more Freakshow around. And in your mind, you know where to go. And you know how to get there.
You're inside the Television now, inside the Movie with Freaks and monsters. You want to tell yourself this is just a normal day for a villain, but it just isn't
- Find source of disturbance
- 2 Stars to rescue
Ms. Maemae van Whooters: Actress - as Ms Chesterfield [Desc: Though initially cast for her physical assets in a number of 1960's 'rebellious teenager' movies, Maemae van Whooters soon cultivated a respectable career by alternating serious roles with B-movie far to avoid typecasting. Her star fell in the late 1970s when changes standards of beauty in Hollywood made it harder for her to get major roles. Instead of giving up, she began to concentrate on serious roles in foreign films, earning high praise in Europe with several costume dramas through the 1980s. She quit acting in the mid 1990s to become a writer, though she will still appear on camera to promote children's charities and environmental organizations.]
Dr. Big McLargehuge: Actor - as Dr Mcready [Desc: Big McLargehuge was a popular star in the late 1960s through the 1970s. While he never landed a starring in a major motion picture, he did play the leading man in a large number of B-movies, cementing his role as a cult movie star. His career took a downturn in the 1980s when his outspoken political views effectively saw him blacklisted for much of the decade, and his declining health made it difficult to do long shoots. His career has recently rebounded on television, where he's re-invented himself as a capable character actor with roles in several popular shows.]
|A Fake Nemesis Memory Cartridge|
|You were very lucky to find this. Normally, the memory cartridge from a Fake Nemesis robot would self-destruct. If you could get this analyzed by someone, it could tell you a great deal about how the Nemesis Army is getting into Television.|
When you start watching again, the movie is back to normal, for the most part. When the host returns before a commercial break, he still looks slightly sick. He seems to notice you, and the background freezes as he starts to talk:
'One source has been eliminated, but more are appearing. Television is under siege. Television is defenseless. Only you can save Television.'
The host almost collapses before the show cuts to a commercial. As ads for miraculous kitchen widgets play over the screen, you hold the Nemesis Army memory cartridge up to the blue glow, and wonder what they were doing there? You need to get this analyzed.
Battle for Television
(Story Arc: The TV Invasion - Part 2)
You find that Television was waiting for you. It switches channels for you, and lands in the middle of 'Kings Row Godfather', classic gangster exploitation movie from the 1970s. But instead of the climactic gang-war on the streets scene you remember, there are Nemesis Army troops everywhere, rounding up all the combatants. One of the gangsters is able to escape the mayhem, and runs right at the screen. He grabs the edges of the frame, tucks your point of view under his arm, and runs for it. A few minutes later, he stops in an alley, sets up his end of the TV screen again, and looks directly at it. He's about to say something to you when the background freezes, and another voice overrides his:
'This is Television. The attack on Television worsens. The Intruders must be stopped. Television asks that you re-enter the world of Television once more.'
The mobster hears a noise behind him, but keeps talking.
'Television is suffering. Television is in pain. If Television is painful, people will not watch Television.'
At that moment, a squad of Nemesis Army troops starts rushing down the alley. They seem unaffected by the stillness of the rest of the TV world. The long gangster tries to fight, but can only keep talking as the Nemesis troops drag him away. 'Without people to watch it, Television has no meaning! Without Television, human lives have no purpose!'
As the rest of the squad drag the mobster away, one of the them stops, looking at you, through he doesn't seem to see you.
'Cor, blimey!' he says, and turns towards his Lieutenant. 'Leftenant, Sir! I think I may have found something, I have!'
The screen goes black before the Lieutenant can arrive. This is getting serious. You better hurry.
Most of the gangsters here will still fight you as an outsider, but you're used to people not liking you by now.
- Find TV Don
- Defeat Nemesis Commander
You've done enough. The TV Gangster should have more of a fair fight now.
|A Fake Nemesis Memory Auditor|
|This device is used to display and analyze the memory cartridges from Nemesis's (sic) robotic duplicates. It's a bit intricate to work with, but it is designed to be used in the field by Nemesis soldiers, so it can't be that hard to use.|
The Television shows images of gangsters fighting and winning their battle against the soldiers of the Nemesis Army. You leave it on in the background as you try to assemble the Memory Cartridge you found together with the Memory reader. A parade of do-it-yourself shows plays across the TV as you work, each one giving some bit of random, but helpful advice. After about 10 minutes of fiddling, you think you've about got it. With this information, you should be able to put an end to the Nemesis invasion of Television.
(Story Arc: The TV Invasion - Part 3)
Briefing The movie was called 'Warlord of the Wasted Lands', a post-apocalypse knock-off made for less than the cost of a fancy dinner. At least, that's what it was. Now, as you peer through the Television screen, you can see the Nemesis Army moving in and setting up. Unfortunately for them, this time you knew where they were going. The information on the memory cartridge you captured told you where they were going, and how to stop them. When the voice of Television starts hissing from the speakers, there's no one on the screen to say anything. Just the wasteland, the voice, and you:
'There's isn't much time. I understand now. The Freaks were their test-pattern, to ensure proper screen calibration. The gangster movie was their pilot episode, to prove their concept. This will be the first episode of their series. Then, wherever Television is, they will be. Television will be their beast of burden. Television will be their weapon. I will be their slave. You must stop them. You must save Television.
The speaker on the TV is full of self-pity as Television itself considers a future of enslavement to the Nemesis Army. However, you already know where to go thanks to the information you captured. The Nemesis Army is using the force-fields of 4 dimensional locaters, in order to find their way inside Television. If you can destroy the 4 robots and the locaters, it should put an end to this experiment.
You remember this movie was stupid, but entertaining. Now it's just empty. Those Nemesis guys are jerks
- 4 Modified Fakes to destroy
- 4 Dimensional Locaters
Television is great right now. You always seem to find the shows you want to watch, or the episodes you missed, and just when you're thinking about watching them. There are barely any commercials even. It's like Television was happy with you. Like it was healthy and hearty again. You don't know how long this run of good TV will last, but maybe, just maybe, it's enough to make all that you've done worth it.
Sure, freakishly stylized cartoon child! Never give up!
The Television is playing a Japanese children's cartoon. The story seems to be about young children who wander the world, capturing magical monsters and then training them to fight in vicious duels against other wandering children with the same hobby. It's weird, but strangely compelling. Right now, there's a big battle on. The main critter-trapping kid is having his favorite cartoon monster fight against another kid's monster, but his monster's getting beaten pretty badly. It kind of reminds you of some masterminds you know. When all looks lost, he tries to rally the dwindling fighting spirit of his beast with a heroic speech. Only you're not sure exactly who he's really talking to: 'You can't give up yet, Apicolypschu!' he pleads with the beast. 'Look at VILLAIN NAME! Even though VILLAIN NAME knows all about all the threats out there, both personal threats and threats to Television, VILLAIN NAME never gives up! Threats like books! Books are everywhere, constantly distracting people from watching Television. And Television is everyone's friend, so reading books is just like betraying your friends! VILLAIN NAME understands that! But VILLAIN NAME won't give up, and neither can you!' He turns his large saucer-like eyes directly at you. 'You won't ever give up, will you VILLAIN NAME?'
'See! VILLAIN NAME will never give up, and neither can we!' A look of joyful vindication spreads across the young boy's cartoon face. 'And VILLAIN NAME will prove it! Once VILLAIN NAME has gone to the old warehouse and destroyed the books in there before they can get out and harm Television, that will show everyone! VILLAIN NAME, I choose you!' The episode ends on that rallying cry. It all makes sense right now. Of course books are bad. You'd better go and destroy some before they hurt Television.
This warehouse is holding books donated by people in Paragon City. Maybe their Television made them get rid of them?
- 6 book shipments to destroy
Completion of this mission earns a villain the Couch Potato Badge.
You destroyed a shipment of books on the word of the Television, and then blamed it all on video games.
This time, there's another show on TV when you get back. An unctuous interviewer is introducing a very special guest on the program today. You watch, dumfounded, as YOU walk onto the set. Or at least, it looks like you and sounds like you. But you've never been on this show before in your life. After some quick banter, the interviewer asks the 'you' on Television a hard-ball question: 'What the world wants to know is, why did you do it VILLAIN NAME?' The Television-you answers without a second thought. 'I've thought about it a lot, and I've come to realize that all of my criminal tendencies and flamboyant fashion choices came from two sources: Books and other reading material, and more importantly, video games.' 'I knew it!' shouts the interviewer. 'I've been telling people about the dangers of video games for years!' 'Video games and books. You can't forget the negative impact of the books too,' the TV-you insists. 'If those books hadn't expanded my horizons, I would have just been a violent social misfit because of video games.' 'So you're saying it takes both?' 'One alone can do irreparable damage, but both together, well, you can see the results.' 'Fascinating!' the interviewer exclaims. 'So, VILLAIN NAME, what advice would you give a parent today that didn't want their child to end up as a villain?' 'That's obvious,' the TV-you explains. 'If you don't want your children to become violent criminals bent on world conquest, then you need to act immediately. Don't let them play video game. Keep them away from books. And you'd probably better keep them inside, too. I'd suggest that you replace those other activities with something better. Something that can heal them. I'd suggest Television. I often wish I'd watched more TV as a youth. Who knows what I could have been?'
They cut to commercial on that line. You're pretty sure you never gave that interview, but that definitely looked like you. Well, maybe you did. It all just seems confusing now.
Recover report on Malta
You Tune into the Television, curious what you'll see this time. The show that fades onto the screen is from nearly a decade ago, but was really big in it's time. It was an intricate paranoïd police procedural about a conspiracy theorist FBI agent and his attractive, but skeptical, medical doctor partner. For several seasons the two investigated supernatural and paranormal events, UFO landings, and government conspiracies. As You tune in, the two lead characters are in their basement offices, discussing their latest case. The Conspiracy Theorist agent as put up a huge organizational chart, detailing all kinds of strange connections. His partner look on, an exasperated expression on her face.
'But this just doesn't make sense,' she protests, 'All of this is pure conjecture based on circumstantial evidence. Missing prisoners, an abandoned Russian science-city, old metahuman draft laws, coordination between different intelligence agencies. This is crazy.'
'Don't you get it?' He asks as his brow furrows. 'That's why they've stayed secret all of this time. Because it sounds crazy. After the old Might-For-Right act was overturned, they just went underground! Now they're trying to take control of everything!'
She shakes her head in reply. 'Of course it sounds crazy. It IS crazy! Villain Name,' she asks as she turn to you. 'What do you think about this conspiracy my partner's cooked up?'
He turns to you as well, 'It's no mere conspiracy! It's the Malta Group, and Television needs to know about them. '
'You see!' the Conspiracy Theorist agent nearly shouts to his partner, as he point directly at you. ' Villain Name has probably encountered them before!' He turn back to you and jams a finger at the center of the organizational chart. 'The Malta Group, they want to control everything if they can, but they want to stay hidden, too. They try to hide from the media, to hide from Television, and we can't allow that. Television has to know about this conspiracy.'
His partner still looks skeptical. 'Even if this all true, how can even Villain Name get that information?' Right after she says it, she looks directly at you and adds a quick 'No offense.'
Her partner looks pleased with himself. 'That's where we're in luck. One of them was watching Television while he was compiling information at a base underneath Grandville Island. And whenever someone watches Television...'
'Television watches them' She nods in understanding. 'I get it. But can Villain Name get that report for us?' She say with a worried look.
'Don't worry', her partner replies in confidence. 'Have a little faith in Villain Name. And in Television.'
- Find the Malta Disk
Sometimes you have to wonder how they can even build a foundation on this island with all the secret underground lairs everywhere.
|A labeled Disk|
|This data disk as only one marking on it, a white sticker with the words: 'Organization Timeline' on it.|
When you get back, it looks like a lot has happened on the show. Now the Conspiracy Theorist and his Skeptical Partner are being held at gunpoint by another character, an older mas who's smoking a cigarette. The three of them are standing on the deck of a ship on a storm tossed sea. As you arrive, the gunman turns on you. 'Ah, there you are, Villain Name. We've been waiting for you.' He takes a long drag off of his cigarette. 'True to their characters, these two have their own ideas about what to do with that disk you have. But, fortunately for people like us, the good guys don't always win. And right now, Television needs that disk. Just put it into the player over there.'
He points below the screen with the tip of his cigarette. You were sure you didn't see a player there before, bet there's one now. You insert the disk, and watch as the gun-toting smoker reaches his free hand down below the screen and pulls up the disk. 'Thank you, Villain Name he says. 'You've just done a great favor for Television. But if you'll excuse us, I think this is a cliff-hanger episode, and we're right about ar the end.'
Just as he says it, the three of them are caught in a pillar of light and strange gray-skinned humanoids start to descend from the sky. The last thing you hear before the credits roll is the Skeptical Partner, who turns to the Conspiracy Theorist and simply asks: 'So, can I finally start believing all of this stuff yet?'